03/23/07
There are many various forms of addiction. Cigarette smoking is an addiction with which I was once afflicted. Thankfully I was able to get the nicotine monkey off my back and now the only thing (tobacco that is) I smoke is an occasional good cigar. I have, in the past, attempted to become addicted to alcohol. And even though I put forth a valiant effort, a friend once told me I just didn’t have it in my genes to become a good drunk. I have heard there are those who are addicted to sex. The male name for this is satyriasis and the female equivalent is nymphomania. Personally, I just like to think of these folks as being good sports.
The point of the previous blathering (if there is one) is that there are about as many types of addiction as there are people. We all have our own version of being addicted to something. If you adamantly refuse to admit to any addictions whatsoever you are apparently addicted to denial. Stop and think about it. Isn’t there something you are addicted to? Food? Television? Desperate Housewives? Brad and Angelina? Soccer? (yeah, I put that one in because of the absurdity of it).
Now, I am not saying that all addictions are bad. If you truly enjoy your addiction and it causes you, or anyone else, no harm then I say go for it. In fact, some addictions can be beneficial. Where would we be today if Thomas Edison hadn’t been addicted to trying to invent the light bulb? Sitting at our computers reading this in the dark, that’s where. If Alexander Graham Bell hadn’t been addicted to the notion of inventing the telephone we wouldn’t be able to completely ignore the beautiful world around us by yakking on our cell phones all day. If Abraham Lincoln hadn’t been addicted to the notion that all men are created equal and to freeing the slaves we wouldn’t have rap music today (okay, that may not be a good example). If Lou Gehrig hadn’t been addicted to baseball would he ever have become famous enough to have a disease named after him?
As I grow older I realize my addictions have changed over the course of my lifetime. Once upon a time I was addicted to comic books. Then I went for basketball. During my teenage years I desperately wanted to become addicted to girls, but I couldn’t find anyone to help me develop that addiction to its fullest. Unlike some, I was never addicted to my job. The fact that I worked for the government most of my life may have had something to do with that. For a while I was addicted to Jimmy Buffett, but when I realized I actually was wasting away again in Margaritaville I decided to move on.
As with many of the Friday Rambles in the past, it has taken me nearly an entire page to finally get to what this Ramble is all about. If I had taken any longer I probably would have forgotten what I started to write about in the first place.
I am addicted to the internet. There, I said it. I know the first step to overcoming an addiction is to admit to yourself you have an addiction, so I have taken the first step. The fact that I am posting my addiction to the internet ON the internet may seem counter productive, but as I said, I used to work for the government so counter productivity is a way of life for me. Once I had realized and admitted to myself that I had a problem with addiction to the internet I set out to find help. Of course the best place to find anything these days is on the internet. I typed “internet addiction” into the Google search engine and the answer came up “No such thing exists. Wouldn’t you like to visit MySpace?”. I am now wondering if the internet hasn’t taken on a life of its own and will do what it needs to do to further its plan for making us its slaves. If I were to spend the rest of my life dedicated to proving that the internet is out to control us wouldn’t that then be an addiction to an internet conspiracy theory? And, if I were to eventually prove that the internet really is out to get us it would no longer be a conspiracy theory, would it? And if it was no longer a conspiracy theory, how could I be addicted to it? Wait a minute, what was I talking about? Oh yeah…
While I have yet to resort to the use of a handheld Blackberry type device to access the internet anywhere I go any time of day or night, I have purchased a laptop computer with wireless internet capability. For those of my readers who may be Bill Gates challenged, wireless capability means that anywhere I go I can probably hook into the internet without even plugging my laptop into anything. This, of course, means I am no longer forced to pay outrageous amounts of money for those disappointingly semi-hardcore porn movies you can request on hotel room televisions because I now have a vast array of internet porn (as well as something else) at my fingertips.
I guess, all things considered, it could be worse. After all, I’m not a serial killer (anymore) and I’m not a drug addict (no wise cracks out there) and the only thing besides the internet I will admit to being vaguely addicted to right now is the ukulele. Learning to strum that little thing (the ukulele I mean) is a whole lot of fun. And the only ones who can be harmed by it are those who are unfortunate enough to be within hearing distance while I am playing. In fact, my ukulele playing could do wonders for the earplug industry. Besides playing the uke (as we players call it) I enjoy learning all about the history of and about those who played the ukulele in the past. In a prime example of one addiction feeding another, when I play my uke I want to learn more about it. When I want to learn more about it I go to the internet for information. When I learn more about it on the internet I want even more to play my uke. Which in turn sends me back to the internet for more information. And the beat goes on…..