12/09/05
It’s been a while since the Friday Ramble staff has read a newspaper…Let’s see what’s going on in the world…
Here’s a good one, it seems some of the more remote areas of our national parks are being used as “marijuana gardens” by Latin American drug organizations. Apparently yet another downside to the 9/11 attacks is that border security has been stepped up, thus making it harder to smuggle drugs across our borders (don’tcha hate it when that happens?). So, these Latinos finally figured out it is easier to just grow it here. I have a couple of buddies (see what I did there?...bud-dies?...marijuana?) who figured that out a long time ago. Anyway, the Latin drug lords have gone one step further in adding insult to injury by not even buying their own land on which to grow their stuff. Instead they are using our government owned and operated National Parks as pot plantations, which makes it just one more case of your tax dollars at work.
Park Rangers are warning hikers to avoid densely wooded areas and thick brushland terrain because of the chances of stumbling across a garden of marijuana plants. They are not saying anything about stumbling out of the area once a patch of pot plants is found, but they are also advising hikers to carry their own supply of Twinkies and Doritos in case of a munchie emergency. One of the areas hardest hit by these illegal activities is Yosemite National Park in California. Head Park Ranger Harold “Doobie” Brothers is quoted as saying, “Every time we run the illegal pot farmers out of Yosemite they just come back again and again and again.” This, of course, gives a whole new meaning to the term, “Old Faithful”.
In an attempt to delve more deeply into this story, and to bring our readers up to the minute accounts of the goings on concerning these illegal marijuana farms, the entire Friday Ramble staff has purchased hiking boots, stocked up on Twinkies, and will be leaving for the California wilderness on the next plane out.
Then there’s the article about the Japanese company that is setting up shop on American soil to bottle and sell sea water. The Koyo Company of Japan has just finished renovating and expanding its bottling facilities in Kona Hawaii. The Koyo Company pumps seawater from 2,000 feet below the surface off the coast of Hawaii (that’s still United States property at last check), then desalinates it, and bottles and markets it as the purest drinking water on earth. Apparently the marketing strategy is working because they sell over 300,000 one and a half liter bottles a day in Japan at $5.50 per bottle. That’s $1,650,000 in sales every day for those of my readers who may be calculator challenged. The renovation to their bottling facility will soon allow them to produce 800,000 bottles per day.
The first attempt to sell this water to Americans is taking place in Hawaii as they have made it available through Neiman Marcus.
The Friday Ramble staff is planning to start bottling water pumped from a depth of twelve feet off the coast of Key West Florida. It will be marketed as the only bottled water you can chew. The Friday Ramble staff will commence work on this project when, and if, they return from the wilderness of our California National Parks.
There is a part of our local newspaper, The St. Louis Post Dispatch, which totally baffles me. They actually have a section called “News Quiz”. In this section are a dozen or so questions pertaining to the news contained in that day’s issue of the paper. They are all multiple choice questions, and the part I find particularly interesting is that they then print the answers to the questions directly below the questions themselves. You don’t even have to hunt for the answer if you don’t know it. All you have to do is glance down about six inches and you can cheat on the quiz all you want. And since this quiz is operated on the honor system you know there is a lot of cheating going on (am I becoming overly cynical?...Is there such thing as “overly” cynical?...Why should I care?)
Here’s an example of the questions pertaining to the burning issues of the day which can be found in the “News Quiz”…
“Ryan Fitzpatrick, the quarterback who led the Rams to an overtime win last week, went to college where?”
Now that’s what I call hard hitting journalism. I’m just glad they didn’t ask what the word “pandemic” means.
Way back in the Dark Ages when I was in high school we were not allowed PDA in any way shape or form (PDA is Public Display of Affection). We were not allowed to hold hands, put our arms around each other or in any way touch another student on school grounds during school hours. Period! Had we been silly enough to break this iron clad rule it would have meant certain detention after school and a note explaining our transgression in detail because twenty-seven 8x10 glossy photos with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one to be used as evidence against us would be sent to our parents. Period! No questions asked, no questioning the school’s authority to do so. Period!
Ahhh, the good old days.
A news article from Santa Ana, Calif. explains that, “A federal judge says a lesbian teen may sue her school district and principal for revealing her homosexuality to her mother.”
It seems the 17 year old high school student feels her right to a private homosexual relationship was violated because the high school principal explained to her mother that the girl’s actions of openly kissing and hugging her girlfriend at school were inappropriate. Never mind that the teenager openly and blatantly exhibited her homosexual orientation during and between classes in ways that precluded any semblance of desiring privacy. Never mind that the teenager is a teenager and as such falls under the rules and regulations of the school she attended. Some judge says this teenager’s rights have been violated and thus she has the right to sue somebody. Period!
Once one gets past wondering how the mother didn’t suspect something like this was going on, we have to imagine she would be very concerned for the teenager but would undoubtedly side with the school since her daughter blatantly flaunted breaking the rules. Au contraire, mon frere. The mother is quoted as saying, “The person to decide how and when to talk with our family about this should have been my daughter, not her principal.” Since this is taking place in California, I wonder how much time these folks may be spending taking hikes in the National Parks (if you know what I mean).
This is just one example of the multitude of reasons why I could not be a teacher or school administrator these days. It takes a special type of person to be able to deal with the little darlings and their “rights”. There are those who will say our society has progressed by giving everyone “rights”. Personally, I feel “rights” have to be earned, not just bestowed upon everyone in general. When rights are just given and not earned is when they are not appreciated and thus will be much more likely to be abused. I honestly feel that screaming about violations of “rights” instead of refining those rights for those who deserve them will be what continues to allow terrorists to terrorize this country.
Major announcement!!!
Coming Soon! Friday Ramble merchandise.
In a relatively short time you will be able to order Friday Ramble T-shirts, ball caps, lunch boxes, and my personal favorite, the Friday Ramble unisex black lace thong. Stay tuned to this station for further developments.